I remember the boy
by zestbubble
Summary: AU. My first shot at fanfic. My what could have happened if Tsukasa never remembered Tsukushi after the accident
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hana Yori Dango and all its characters. This is just me and my figment of imagination.**

**As I said before, this is a figment of my own imagination. Writing this story was a way of letting my steam off during my final exams. It's probably not as good as a lot of the stories here. If you'd like to review, please do. I simply just want to share my first short at penning down my crazy ideas.. Sorry if it's a bit too melodramatic.. **

I remember the boy….

'_Baka.. how can the night be so cold. It's already April for goodness sake. I suppose that's England for you. The weather can be nothing but unpredictable. How do people cope with this kind of climate? Moreover, how does she? Her nose would turn a Rudolph red even in an air conditioned room, what more in a place where the chills gets to your bones._' He takes in a long deep sigh and tries to tighten the scarf around his neck. It proves to be a menial attempt at keeping the coldness at bay.

Finally his footsteps end at where he had been heading. He looks up at the neon lit signboard that read "The Oasis". He pushes the tight door open and was immediately greeted by the warm atmosphere of the café. Couples were huddled close together while groups of friends were engrossed in coffee and conversation. The first thought that came to his mind was '_This isn't her. A lively spitball of fire like her doesn't fit in a mellow environment such as this. Rui's bad habit of being too laidback must have brushed off on her_.'

He finds an empty corner and settles himself on an old yet comfortable velvet couch. A bubbly waitress greets him with a million dollar megawatt smile and asked for his order. If anyone was paying attention, you could see how flustered she was just from standing in front of one of the most handsome man she has ever set her eyes on. Unfortunately for her, he was oblivious to the fact, having been fawned over all his life.

He orders a cappuccino without even opening the menu. He didn't come to the café for their "fine" dining anyway. It would be wasted on him as his palate only runs on the most exquisite and expensive fare that can be found. However, as the waitress begins to turn away, he quickly ask

"It says outside there usually is a live performance. Is there one today?"

She nods in agreement. "Aye, you're in luck. Tsukushi is one of our best. She sings beautifully. Should begin soon."

"Hmmm." He leans back into the couch and dismisses her with just that one simple gesture.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A week ago**_

"_Don't be so full of yourself. This is my declaration of war" _

"_I'm a no brand woman"_

"_I couldn't leave you like this if I loved you, goodbye"_

"_I want to be with you"_

"…_.But I've grown to need you, so I'm not sick of it all…"_

"_Make sure you keep all your promises, you know what I mean"_

Glimpse of pictures kept playing in his mind. Voices of yesterday echoed deafening his thoughts. Every line of happiness and heartache repeating over and over like a broken record. He finally remembered. He finally remembered. He finally remembered. At long last, he found the answer to the emptiness he had been feeling for the past four years.

'_How ironic_?' he mused to himself. The accident that returned his memory was the same accident that took it away. Recovering from his second knife attack, he woke up to a clearer understanding of himself. It was a dear price to pay. Despite being of supernatural strength, the wound across his abdomen still stung. Yet, he knew he'd go through it again if it meant regaining his past.

He looked for his mobile and quickly dialed his assistant's number.

"Uchida, I need you to gather information on Makino Tsukushi for me. I want to know what she has been doing for the past four years. But be discrete. No one should know."

Within a mere two hours, a hundred paged profile was sent to his room in the hospital. Just goes to show what a Domyouji wants, a Domyouji gets. He read on.

She's currently studying law in London. She managed to obtain a scholarship after graduating from Eitoku and had insisted on flying immediately right after. Her parents and Sesumu still resided in Japan but now lead a more comfortable life. Her father after seeing the hardships his daughter had to go through finally awoken to the reality of his responsibilities. Currently, he owns a company dealing in the import and export of goods. Nonetheless, despite being able to afford to go home anytime she wants, Tsukushi never returned to Japan. Not even for a holiday. She always had an excuse to not go home regardless who tried to persuade her.

She still kept in close touch with the other F4 members especially Rui. He and his fiancée, Shizuka would fly over once in a while to visit her and they'd go touring Europe together. Domyouji was half surprised that Tsukushi still maintained a good relationship with his comrades. Never once did they mention her in front of him. He suspected that might be her asking though he dreaded to ponder why.

From the report, overall, Tsukushi has had a good life in the past four years. He could only anticipate so since she rightfully deserves it. Moreover, being the weed that she is, she'd trounce any storm that comes in her way. One thing which he did find astounding was that she had taken up singing. Surely a voice that is used to grumbling, complaining, shouting and threatening couldn't be melodious. He chuckled to himself. '_Her audience must be made up of old grannies and grandpas who are hard of hearing_.'


	3. Chapter 3

_**Present**_

So that's how he found himself here. Waiting patiently for his treasured past to make an appearance. He didn't know why he chose to seek her here when he could probably catch her easily at her university. Maybe it's because this facet of her was unknown to him. Furthermore, he felt the need to be as elusive as possible. Everyone has yet to realize that he has remembered. Again, he couldn't explain why he didn't want anyone to find out but possibly the consequence of what could happen if they do could provide a reason. With the passing of years, it'd be naïve to think that everything remains the same just because he wants it to. So perhaps subconsciously, he needed to be secretive a while longer as protection against deeper disappointment. '_Ahhhhhh, you're thinking way too much, Tsukasa'_. He pressed a hand over his throbbing forehead.

Suddenly the light starts to dim and the spotlight focuses to the front of the cafe. Everyone starts clapping enthusiastically, welcoming the performing artist on to the makeshift stage. She comes on and takes a bow. With her small finger wrapped around the end of guitar, she perches onto the high stool and finds the most comfortable position. She looked serene in her chiffon aqua dress and long boots. Her hair was now wavy running down her back almost to her waist. Her mannerisms gentle and melancholic. It was like seeing a stranger whom looked oddly familiar. He was almost doubtful it was her.

Then she started addressing the audience. It was yesterday once more. Her loud laughter, her frankness and her ease at making fun of herself. She simply made people around her feel comfortable. Once she got the crowd going, she began strumming the guitar softly. Everyone immediately fell into a silent hush. The moment didn't last for long though as they soon realized the first song that she was going to sing was "Puff the Magic Dragon". Her listeners all erupted into laughter but were singing away with her. '_Baka woman…'_

Soon enough she moved on to her set of songs. Her taste was very eclectic. From blues to pop to heart rendering ballads. It was apparent what made her so popular was not so much her voice (as melodious as it was) but it was how much heart and soul she poured into each song. If the song was supposed to be light and chirpy, she was light and chirpy. If the song was filled with angst, she sang it full of tragedy. It was almost like watching a Broadway musical, as she injected as much as emotion and drama as she could. She was simply brilliant. Like always she gave it her all.

He was captivated. Hard to believe this was the girl who created such havoc with the piano during his birthday party. She's moved a long way from that. Unknown to her, he was proud as to what she has accomplished. For almost two hours, he continued to enjoy the blissfulness of her singing from his shadowed corner. Ultimately, she came to her last song. That is when his heart almost stopped.

"Ah, two hours already?!?!? Time sure does fly by fast, ne? I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have. Anyway before I say goodnight, I'd like to share this song with everybody. Although this song doesn't belong to me, it has much sentimental value. At a time when I needed to move on this song that has kept me going. So please listen and welcome this song from my heart to yours…Everyone, "**I remember the boy**"

**Today I heard them play the song again  
An old familiar strain from way back when  
Every note and every line  
It's always been a favorite song of mine  
**

**  
It used to haunt me so some years ago  
Reminds me of a boy I used to know  
And although the melody lives on  
The memories and the boy are all but gone  
**

**  
And while the song still brings that certain glow  
And the words still sing of love I know  
It isn't quite the way it was before  
I remember the boy  
But I don't remember the feeling anymore  
**

**  
The promises we made seemed easier then  
As if we knew our love would never end  
But seasons change and time erases the tears  
As quickly as the rivers disappear  
**

**  
So while the song still brings that certain glow  
And the words still sing of love I know  
It isn't quite the way it was before  
I remember the boy  
But I don't remember the feeling  
I remember the boy  
But I don't remember the feeling anymore**

Every line pierced his heart. Zinging away causing more hurt than the knife attack he had a week earlier. '_What is she saying? Has she forsaken our past? What we use to share doesn't mean anything anymore to her_.' He briefly cursed the passing time. He looked up at her again, seeing her sing with all her might as if needing to emphasize each and every word. He stood there transfixed and came to the realization that he has no one to blame except the cruel fate of the gods. Seeing her tear up, he also concluded he had no right to be there and demand that she still feel for him. Before, he had turned his back from her, now it seems she was returning the favor. It didn't matter that either party had no intentions in doing so, the damage was already done.

The damned song closed on a silent note before everyone rose to give her a standing ovation. While the audience cheered her performance, Domyouji grabbed his chest as if the pain was not just an emotional one. '_Be still heart. You should have learnt by now with your responsibilities, you were never resigned to achieve the happiness you seek. Wake up already!'_ He threw some money on the table in front of him and began gathering his coat. He turned to the door and took his first step towards it. A confirmed step to a wealthy yet empty existence. As he reaches the door, he stops. His hand turning the knob. _'Sayonara Tsukushi. I wish nothing but the best for you. May one day you learn to forgive me.'_

All of a sudden, he feels a big thump on his back. He spins around ready to devour whoever had knocked him. _'Didn't they realize his breaking heart?'_

"DOMYOUJI? Domyouji Tsukasa."

He nodded while holding on to his last breath.

"It's me. Makino Tsukushi."


	4. Chapter 4

"It's me. Makino Tsukushi."

He stood there transfixed. His eyes large as a doe beholding the sight of this dainty yet spirited creature. She gazed back and gave him a puzzling look.

" Hah. Don't you know me? You were always horrible when it came to remembering things. Should have expected such weakness from the octopus head of yours,"

With that challenge, Tsukasa quickly snapped out of his stupor. "Octopus head ?!?! HEY!!"

Tsukushi cut him off. "Ah, so he speaks. Thought you were going mute there. Anyway, as I was saying I'm Makino Tsukushi. You might remember me from four years ago. You thought I was Hanazawa Rui's girlfriend. Does that ring any bells?"

He then remembered that she still thinks that he has amnesia. He decided to play along. "Ah yes, you were the annoying poor girl with queer habits. Violent too, if I recall. "

"Look who's talking about violence, if it's not Mr Let's-beat-up-everyone-up-when-things-don't go-my-way. Hmmphh. Anyway what are you doing here? Are you with Hanazawa Rui? Don't think he mentioned anything about stopping by the last time we spoke."

"No, I'm not with him", he sighed. He was still acutely aware of the fact that Tsukushi had depended on Rui these four years.

"Oh, okay. Then, I suppose you're here for some business matters. Gah.. can't believe you're actually entrusted to run Doumyouji Enterprise. They must not know how baka you can be, especially when it comes to languages. But I guess with your money, you can always hire other people to do the talking for you, ne? They must certainly be having a tough time." Tsukushi spoke a mile a million.

"Hey miss sassy, who are you to say something like that. Besides, language is just language. There's no being good or bad about it."

On hearing that remark Tsukushi smiled. She rolled her eyes and said softly to herself, "Yup, idiotic as always."

Tsukushi turned to Tsukasa, "Have you eaten yet? If you haven't, want to come have dinner at my place. I'm starving."

He was surprised at the invitation. "What are you having? I can't tolerate common people food that well." He was nodding all the same.

"Well, tough luck. You've got to learn the masses' taste anyway if you want to succeed in conquering the public market. Take this as a marketing lesson. See it's even free of charge." With that, she quickly grabbed his hand, and headed out to coldness of London's streets.


	5. Chapter 5

**In Tsukushi's apartment**

Her apartment was as spacious as any one-bedroom London apartment could afford. Her walls adorned with black and white photos of past travels. There were also pictures of her family, Yuki, the other members of F3, and the odd photo of a Corrigan puppy. In one messy corner, music scores and law books scattered across the floor. There were plants at the bay of her window which could use some watering and close to her radiator the fine silver lines of a cobweb could be seen. Nevertheless, it was comfortable and exuded Tsukushi's personality.

"You can hang your coat and scarf in that side cupboard there."

Tsukushi stepped in to the kitchen and started busying herself with the food which they had bought before in the nearby grocers.

"What are we having again?" asked Tsukasa.

" Hmm. Feel like something from home today. Is Nabe okay with you?"

"Ah poor man food. I think I should call my doctor to warn him just in case I get food poisoning later."

"Ha, very funny. Well sorry but since I'm cooking you're just going to have deal with it. Besides you liked it once before". Tsukushi accidentally let it slipped.

Tsukasa did the most honorable thing a man can do at a time like that. He pretended to not notice she made a reference to their past.

About an hour later, they were tucked in under the heavy heated blanket that covered the table. Steam oozed out of the nabe pot on the table while the bubbling sounds of the heated stewed echoed in the atmosphere.

"Itadakimasu"

They both dined eagerly. Tsukasa whom only realized how hungry he was, munched away gleefully tasting every dish on the table.

"See, I told you you'd like it."

Tsukasa responded with an indignant harrumph that made Tsukushi chuckle.

"So what's it like being a being an executive for Doumyouji corporation?"

Tsukasa gave a non-committal shrug.

"That's it? A shrug? Surely it's better than that, Doumyouji. It seemed to be the most important thing to you."

Tsukasa momentarily looked thoughtful. "Why do you say that?"

Tsukushi quickly realized her mistake. "Erm, just thought it.."

"Ah well, I suppose you could say it was. But I think as time pass, you start to wake up to the reality that life is not just about responsibilities and expectations. Both of them still play an important role but I think happiness and laughter should fit in somewhere."

Astounded by the sudden maturity from Tsukasa, Tsukushi asked "And have you found this happiness and laughter?"

"Who knows?"

Both of them paused at the seriousness of the topic. Then, Tsukasa quickly changed the topic. "So, what about you? Lawyer by day, singer by night. How did that happen?"

"Well the lawyer thing was always something at the back of my mind. Felt needed to prevent all the bullies in the world from getting their way. The singing thing sort of just happened. You could say a coping mechanism if you like."

"Coping mechanism for what?"

"Erm … life?" Tsukushi awkwardly answered. How in the world was she to explain that her singing began as a method to overcome the loss of him.

"Yeah but to torture everyone's ears just so you can get by, seems pretty selfish and cruel to me"

"HEY!"

From that, they quickly fell into a comfortable banter. They joked, laughed about the F3's antics and continued chatting about their recent travels and experiences. On the surface, the scenario of them together was a pleasant picture but there was no denying that both of them were conscious of just how much the other had moved on with their lives. Tsukasa felt a bittersweet tug by just looking into Tsukushi's animated face. Tsukushi on the other hand took comfort in the familiar warmth of having him near. Silently, both prayed against hope that they could hold on longer to this fleeting chance of what could have been.


	6. Chapter 6

Tsukasa looked at his watch. "It's three in the morning. Jeez, I didn't realize what time it was."

Tsukushi just nodded. She too didn't realize that time had flown that fast.

"I guess I better go. Got to catch the plane home well..today.." Tsukasa tried to reason with a heavy heart.

"Oh okay. I'll walk you down."

Tsukasa gave a brief nod.

They gathered their coats and then took the elevator down. They continued to walk in silence till they reach a park just a block away from Tsukushi's apartment.

Tsukasa turned to Tsukushi. "Well I think here should be fine. You don't need to send me back the whole way. Besides, it'll be dangerous for you later when you have to walk back alone."

"Hmmm." Tsukushi smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"Anyway brat, thanks for the lesson on how to eat like the poor."

"Enough already. You dare throw that to me when you so thoroughly enjoyed it. Sheesh."

"Hah.. I was just being polite. Eisei teaching says don't offend your host."

"Sure, sure. Did it also teach you to wipe off your plate clean and ask for not just seconds but more?"

Both laughed.

"Anyway it's cold already. You'd better get back to your apartment. Thanks for walking me out."

"No worries, I'm tougher than you think I look."

'_Yes, I know that. You don't need to remind on me how strong you are. Didn't I not choose you', _thought Tsukasa at the mockery of her statement.

"Well, this is goodbye I suppose. Have a safe trip back home and send my love to the others. Tell them to come visit me soon." Tsukushi said in a voice almost breaking.

Tsukasa lifted his face and fixed his gaze upon her. Unswervingly looking into her eyes, he whispered "Goodbye, Tsukushi. I hope you find the happiness you've always seek."

And for the very last time, he bestowed a kiss upon her forehead, turned and retreated away from her with tears brimming in his eyes.

If he had afforded her a backward glance, he would have seen Tsukushi transfixed at the spot he left her, eyes large and mouth gaping at what just occurred.


	7. Chapter 7

Tsukasa continued walking as fast as his legs could carry him. '_So this is what a breaking heart feels like_', he reflected, feeling the bleakness enveloped him further.

Then suddenly, he felt a sharp tug on his scarf almost cutting the air off to his lungs. He was forced to turn around.

Next thing he knew, Tsukushi was on her tip toes and planting the sweetest of kisses on his lips. He stood mesmerized half believing what just happened.

Then Tsukushi left his lips to lean closer to him. Softly she whispered into his ear, "You remember me. You remember me. I see it in your eyes.."

He sighed.

Tsukushi continued to whisper while clasping his hand tight, "There's just one thing I don't understand. How dare you leave me again?"

"I did it for .." , Tsukasa started but was cut short by Tsukushi.

"No wait, don't answer that. I think I know why. You're probably thinking we've both moved on so far, how in the world are we going to get back to the start. So now for the first time in your life, the great Domyouji Tsukasa is trying to be humble and let me choose my way?"

Tsukasa nodded in agreement.

"But don't you see that's not a choice for me at all. You're making the decision again and not even asking me what I think. Baka, truly you are baka." Tsukushi groaned in frustration.

Tsukasa began to realize he may have just made another mistake.

Tsukushi continued, "So this is what I propose. Since you're so adamant about making the decisions, fine I'll allow you to choose. I'm going to let go of you. If you still want me beside you, you should know what to do. Besides, didn't you say, you'd go to hell and back just to be with me?"

Before Tsukasa could respond, she extracted her hand out of his grasp and moved a step away. In a reflex instant, he yanked her hand back and placed it on his cheek for what felt like the longest minute. Slowly but pleasantly, he then laid a gentle kiss on her palm. Tsukasa finally made the correct decision. Not so baka after all.

Later, they continued looking at each other amidst the happy tears that were glistening down their cheeks.

"Welcome home, Tsukasa. Welcome home."

"Thank you, Tsukushi. You don't know how much it means to be back"


	8. Chapter 8

There was yet another mild shower pitter pattering outside Tsukushi's apartment window. Tsukushi snuggled further underneath her thick duvet. A warm back was facing her and for a moment Tsukushi was startled. The back then turned and two arms enfolded around her.

"Wake up sleepy head"

"I'm up already', Tsukushi said unconvincingly.

"Well if you're up then you can wipe of all the slobber you decide to drool on me last night."

That certainly jolted Tsukushi up from her slumber. "Hey, I do not drool"

Tsukushi was ready to give him a playful punch on the chest (which would hurt nevertheless, he did criticize her!), but Tsukasa tightened his hold on her and quickly kissed her forehead.

"Yes, you do and you hog the blankets too. But it's okay, I love you duvet stealer, drooler and all. Can't help it." He said sheepishly.

Tsukushi blanked at such blatant romanticism. He was never a keeper of hidden feelings.

"Ah you're silent. The world is saved from yet another minute of noise pollution."

Hearing this, Tsukushi loosened his grip on her and nibbled his right ear; a sensitive spot she learned personally just hours before.

Giggling at his startled expression, "Now who exactly is saving the world from noise pollution ... hmm ?"

"You, evil evil woman.", he mentioned before launching at her, tickling her into bursts of laughter.

Hours later, Tsukushi tucked her feet under her settee's cushion. Hot coffee in hand, she sipped slowly to avoid burning her tongue. Tsukasa sat on the floor in front of her. His bouncy curls blocking her view of the television.

"Domyouji, move a bit. Can't see the screen. "

"Hey woman, you'd think with me here, you wouldn't want to watch television."

"Well excuse me, but you can't have my attention all the time. Even you'd be tired of that."

"No, I won't." he denied with all the stubbornness of an old goat.

Touched as she was with his conviction, she couldn't help but ask, "How are you so sure?"

Tsukasa turned and took the coffee out of her hand to settle it on the table.

"Aren't you sure?" he asked back.

"Doumyouji, you don't answer a question with a question."

"Makino, you're avoiding my question. But if you must talk about being sure, I think I have more reason to not feel so. You really felt all that emotion singing your last song, didn't you", Tsukasa said solemnly.

Tsukushi gasped in surprise. It was at this very moment that Tsukushi finally realized that his entire confidence exterior was just a façade. Seeing his slightly trembling hand, him biting his lip and hopeful gaze truly endeared him more to her.

Tsukushi reached for him. "Tsukasa, I'm not denying that song wasn't important to me and I don't know to explain this to you. I suppose I needed it because I needed something to convince myself that I was over you. And yes, some days it worked but more often it didn't. I think deep down I always knew that no matter how much I tried, my heart will always belong to you. I was hoping that somehow you'd find a way to get back to me."

Tsukasa settled his head in her lap. "Thank you for believing in that. Tsukushi, I just want to say I'm sorry for everything. You know that I would never intentionally hurt you."

Tsukushi brushed her fingertips against his curls. "I know."

Both smiled silently.

Suddenly, Tsukasa turned his head to her. "Hey, you called me Tsukasa."

Tsukushi blushed. "Heh, so I did. Now baka, let me watch my tv."

"TSUKUSHI!"

Tsukushi and Tsukasa would always continue being a bickering pair. However no one could doubt the love that connected them both. Although tomorrow is never guaranteed, the second chance that had been given to them also gave the strength and determination to try their very best. Besides, had it not been written in the stars that they both belonged? Two souls from the planet Saturn, voyaging together on this journey we call life…


End file.
